My pets are peeving me

I have decided that the time has come to write about the life I lead in my back yard. Because I am usually awake for about 15 hours each day with very little to do, I spend a few of them in the pool... by myself. I still can't legitimately swim around, so I just bob around. This has led me to become a bird-watcher. My backyard is really quite interesting between the hours of 11am-1pm:

1. There is a huge raven that owns the spa. Our jacuzzi is higher than the rest of the pool and has a waterfall coming off of the front where birds like to get a refreshing drink in the summer heat. Not so when this beast is around. He won't let any other creature near the spa, and will attack anything that attempts it.
2. A million sparrows hang out in the tree of the neighbor behind me. They enjoy tricking the 'beast'. They work as a team to make him attack one bird while the rest get a sip until his return. Remarkable.
3. For a few days a huge yellow monarch butterfly lived outside. I loved it but it left.
4. I found a tiny red-racer snake swimming in the pool. I set him free in my garden.
5. We have a family of quail living around our yard. There were ten tiny babies to begin with and now there are only 5. This is extremely traumatizing and depressing to me. They are each about 2 inches tall. My dog Harley wants to kill them but I have prevented many attacks thus far.
6. Speaking of Harley, he has a secret life outside. When I am home alone he loves to prance around in the back yard by himself. This strange behavior started a few months ago. He never used to go outside during the summer unless accompanied by a homo sapien. Now he stays out there until he over-heats, gets asthmatic attacks and becomes a tiny oven. So weird.

I hope this is mildly entertaining. Maybe one day I will become a legit bird-watcher, you never know what you will see, even in your own backyard!