V Day

Let's review why I think Valentines is horribly awkward and annoying.

1. Once in high school I went on a few dates with a cutie on the guys soccer team. We hung out for a while but then things sort of tapered off because I wasn't feeling it. But of course Valentines day came around. For some reason, he saw this as the prime opportunity to declare his love to me. Well, that day at school he brought me a dozen roses but was too nervous to give them to me. I usually worked through lunch in the student government room, so the boy came there, threw the roses at me and ran out of there. Seriously.
Later that night I had a soccer game and went to bed around 11. My mom came in and woke me around midnight, saying "there's a bunch of boys at the door for you; you need to go out there." What boys? I mumbled? "I don't know, but they're in tuxes and there are roses so go!" WHAT?! I told her there was NO WAY I would go out there, having been recently asleep, wearing booty shorts and no bra. My mom forced me to go out there.
So, I arrive at the front door, and who awaits? The soccer boy, who was also in an a capella group with all of the popular boys at my school. Like 8 of them.
They proceeded to sing me several songs. All eyes on me. Dance moves, the occasional rose, and soccer boy kneeling with arms outstretched belting his heart out. I had no idea where to look or what to do. My mom was around the corner crying because she was laughing so hard.
This is my personal idea of hell, people. I hate a capella music, I hate valentines day, I hate being awoke in the middle of the night, and now, I hated the soccer kid.

2. On the same day, when I had arrived home from school, I found a bunch of crap on my porch with my name on it. A teddy bear and chocolates and stuff. I hate teddy bears. Nobody wants a plush toy. There was a note from a guy that said he had loved me since grade school. Keep in mind, we literally hand't spoken since grade school.

Ever since that fateful day, I have disliked <3 day. Random guys come out of the word work, thinking that this day is their excuse to be unacceptably aggressive in proclaiming their affections. Oh, bother.
Here's to wishing all of you a Happy Valentines!


  1. I'm crying. That is the best story I have ever heard.

  2. Well, if you don't like plush toys, when you get a package from me in a few days, just toss it out.

  3. Hahaha. I really wish I could've been there to witness all of that.

  4. hahahahaha. I totally love you.

  5. Most Valentine's Day haters feel that way because they DON'T receive any expressions of love. It's refreshing to hear from someone who hates it for the exact opposite reason :)

  6. I have always, always loved this story. Always.

  7. I found a bunch of crap on my porch...hahaha! Sarah, you made my Valentine's Day complete.

  8. Hahaha, Sarah. You are so funny....and so secretly adored by men hiding in closets all over.

    This reminds me of that one guy you dated who was at that Casino night, jumping on the table, dancing, flailing his suit jacket around his head for everyone, including you, to see.

    I like the men you attract. Even if you don't. HAHAHAHA

  9. Tara find me someone NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!