thursday

Nearing the end, but not the end of the week and I am
tired.
Tired of my classes and my students calling me when I'm asleep to ask for deadline extensions (really?), and of dreary days that look cold and feel colder.

And somehow I've managed to stay healthy all semester until the hell of finals and grading and paper paper paper writing set in this week.

And the snow on the mountains is taunting me because the only thing that makes utah livable in the winter is escaping to the mountains to ski, but I can't go until I cross off all of those to-do's on that never-ending scroll of paper.

And the only boys I've dated recently did impressions of mentally handicapped people and told me we should try out birth control to a room of people on the third time we'd ever talked--and I wonder if one day a normal male will be attracted to me.

And then today I had a peer review group find all of the nasty flaws in my argument that I was ignoring.

But my roommate is playing Pride and Prejudice music on the piano and I can hear it drifting up the stairs.

And I talked to my sisters yesterday.

And this morning I went on a walk when no one was out and it felt fresh and good to stretch my sore back.

And I got to spend a whole 6 days with my nieces and nephew last week in the sun, smelling the fresh lawn and rejoicing in them.

And I heard coldplay's new christmas song.

And my friend is glowing because she is engaged to the right man.

And I just found out my darling cousin-twin is coming to utah. Next friday.

And I am sitting in my quiet room as the sky grows darker and realizing that amidst the chaos of life, I am so, so blessed. And really, I wouldn't want things to be different.